How I left the #Scientology RPF and why #GoingClear is the most important film of 2015.

By March 31, 2015Life, Movies, Television, Women, Zen

(All Scientology terms with a * are defined at the bottom of the post in the order that they appear in the post.)


Today while reading through all the responses to Alex Gibney’s brilliant Documentary, Going Clear, I came across a review of the film by an Independent Scientologist. She was insulted by the film. She was upset that none of the wins and gains were shown. That it was a rehash of “old” data about L Ron Hubbard and that it was trying to smear him and make Scientologists feel bad or dumb for being believers. I should have just kept scrolling. But I didn’t. I pleaded with her to really look at the real data about LRH*. About how he had lied about everything, including the most important thing of all, being handicapped and curing himself using his “tech”. Her response was typical. Should she “toss out” her wins because LRH did some things we all regret when we are young (I NEVER kidnapped my kids, told my husband I chopped them up and then called back saying they were alive. Oh the things young people do!)

So I decided to tell her what the tech did to me. I am putting it here on my blog for the world to see. THIS is what Scientology does. Jason Beghe touches on it for a brief moment in Going Clear as does Hana Whitfield. But here it is, the raw truth.

I have never asked anyone to “toss aside” their wins*. Feeling better about yourself or doing better is never a bad thing. What the film points out and what is hard for people to do once they are swimming in the deep end of Scientology, is to look objectively at the tech. I was a member of the original GAT* team for Celebrity Centre*. COB* talked about ME at the original event. I have 2 RTC* passes on TR’s* 0-4 and 6-9 I have an RTC metering* pass. I trained 1000’s of people. I was the #1 Word Clearer* on the planet. I still hold the record for number of words cleared in a single week. My department was declared in a state of Power* for 6 months in a row by ED Int*. I was the word clearer to celebrities and their families. I was a true believer. I was in the honor guard and I marched on stage at the New Years 2000 event. 

I spent 8 years in the Sea Org* and 3 on the RPF* because I had the audacity, at age 23, to fall in love with my roommate and kiss her. For that I was tossed out, despite my STELLAR unbeaten production record. Despite all the people I trained, marriages I saved, people I personally audited and got into Scientology. I kissed a girl. And because LRH in all his wisdom and “research” determined that being homosexual was perverted, degraded, and evil I was sent to the RPF. For three years I received 100’s of hours of FPRD*. Driving me further and further into my psyche of self doubt and loathing. Not making me better, not “Curing” me of my “Evil” sexual purposes, just making me feel worse and worse and worse about myself. Becoming more and more convinced every day that I really was evil and perverted. That I would never and was not capable of change. And then I wanted to leave because I was no good and I didn’t deserve to be a part of the Sea Org any more. I was so unworthy I BEGGED to leave. 

I did the routing out* sec check* and I did it standardly. I got a fitness board*. It was approved. After I endured 3 years of mental torture, sleep depravation and physical abuse (Two broken ribs and 2 herniated discs in my back) the RPF I/C* held on to my approved fitness board. You heard that right. My approved ticket out of the Sea Org that I begged and pleaded for. He put it in his bottom drawer for 3 months. 3 months he made fun of me. When I asked about it he would slam the door in my face and tell me to go away. He had people pressuring me to stay all day every day. Telling me how I would die. I would become homeless. I would be a prostitute if I left, a druggie. I would be lost for all millennia. That they would get my family to disconnect* from me. That I was such a downstat they would never help me. They would shun me. I would have nothing and no one. Finally I caved. Where else could I go. I said I would stay. He promptly took the Fitness board out of his desk and said, “I knew you would change your mind so I never showed you this.” I was so lost, so spun in on myself, I couldn’t even react. I was numb. 

Then a month or so later I got in trouble. I was smiling at a fellow RPFer*. We were doing our job and I smiled at her. SMILED. I got taken in for an ethics interview to find out if I was trying to have sex with her. If I had kissed her or touched her. I said calmly that this was a joke and I was not going to do this interview. I tried to leave the room. I was forcibly pushed back into my chair. I tried to get my shoes on and leave again. They took my shoes and socks. I tried to walk out again, now three people were putting me in the chair. Again I stood up now dragging three people with me towards the door. (It was 15 feet away.) Now more people came to stop me from leaving. They started to push me to the ground. I had more than 9 people piled on top of me. Each of them holding onto a different part of my body trying to stop me from moving. I was coursing with adrenaline. The door was locked. I was pounding on the door with my one free fist and screaming. Someone started opening the door from the other side, I grabbed at the side of the door with both of my hands and pulled it open with all my strength. Somehow I broke free and I ran. But again I was so delusional I ran not from PAC*, not as far away as I could. I ran, feet bloodied, hysterical to the security office. I was bleeding from my feet and my nose was fractured. I had blood all over my face. It looked like something from fight club. 

The next day my senior, Caroline Mustard, spent almost an hour screaming one inch from my face the most vile, despicable things that you can imagine. Telling me that I was less than worthless, that everyone, especially her, but everyone, including my family, would be better off without me. Because I was useless. I was a burden on everyone around me. I was a terrible person. I was scum. If she could have punched me in the face right then she would have. She wanted to hurt me and she was going to go out of her way to make me regret being alive for as long as she could. I decided to go scrub walls and cry. I did that for 2 hours straight. Crying and scrubbing and crying and scrubbing non stop for two hours. Then I decided she was right. I was a piece of shit and no one loved me. I was a pervert and I would never be better because the tech didn’t work on me because I was an SP*. I was never going to change because I couldn’t. I was so far gone as a being that Scientology, man’s one salvation couldn’t reach me. It was too late.

So I locked myself in a supply closet. I decided this was the end for me. I took a pair of scissors and I tried to slash my wrists. They were so dull. I pushed really hard, over and over again on my wrist but it wouldn’t cut. I thought to myself. I can’t even KILL myself properly! How fucking pathetic is that. Then I saw the bleach. I decided since it was industrial strength it wouldn’t take too much. I poured a large capful. I closed my eyes. All I could think of was, “I’m sorry Mom.” I drank the bleach. It was like drinking liquid fire. I couldn’t breathe. My body ached everywhere. My eyes went black for a minute. And then I fell backwards out of the closet clutching my throat. Not breathing but screaming, silently for help. Finally I started to wretch and cough. From that point forward the “Suicide drill*” went into effect. They got me off the base immediately. Megan Shields, a Scientologist Doctor, who was down the street from PAC refused to treat me. 

They took me to Olive View in Sylmar where I had to lie repeatedly to the doctor about what had happened. I had to make up and rehearse a story so I didn’t get put on SUICIDE WATCH AFTER TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE. The doctor didn’t believe me. Quinn Tauffer was in the ER with me staring at me as I told my story. Making sure I didn’t waiver or ask for help or try to leave. Even then. Even when I had tried to die to get out of there they were controlling me. I couldn’t even die on my own terms.

Then they sent me live at the Extended Stay America in Burbank with two other female RPFers. The next day I got 1 session to “run the evil purpose that made me want to kill myself” and then a couple of days after that I was taken to OSA* put on camera and made to sign waivers. Then they drove me home. 

Now I tell you this gruesome story not for shock and awe purposes. I tell you this to show you what the technology of Scientology does. That this is the end product. “Oh you didn’t get ‘Standard Tech*'” is what I hear all the time. Like that makes it alright. But yes, actually I did. I got Scientology. If you knew how regulated the RPF tech is you would be amazed. It is more closely monitored than ANY other aspect except maybe Tom Cruise’s sessions. These things that were done to me were right out of Flag Orders*, HCOB’s* HCO PL’s* that L RON HUBBARD wrote. I was treated the way HE thought was standard. Scientology and L Ron Hubbard’s “technology” almost killed me. Almost drove me insane. ALMOST. 

So when I ask you, Scientologists, to please, do the research, really get to know L Ron, really dive into who he was and yes EVERYTHING he did in his life because it DOES matter, I say that from a place of massive amounts of experience and love. All I want is for NO ONE ELSE to ever get to the low I was at. No technology or religion for that matter that is supposed to help people to be better should EVER make anyone feel the way I felt. Then it is not a religion. It is not help. It is evil. And before you finish this story and say, “Well that is so terrible to have happened to you. I am sorry you experienced that, that you had bad people around you who did things wrong to make you feel badly.” Like I am the only one. I am not the only one who had things like this and believe it or not WORSE happen to them. Not by a long shot. That is why Going Clear is so vital. To start to expose the truth. To let a crack of light in the darkness that is Scientology so that the ones still inside can be rescued and others can be prevented from ever falling into the trap to begin with. 

Saying that Scientology is alright because you had wins, “so it isn’t all bad” is the same as saying smoking is alright because it makes you feel good and you don’t have cancer. Scientology is evil and drives people to madness in the same way that smoking kills people. Just because something makes you feel good occasionally doesn’t mean it is good for you.


LRH- Lafayette Ronald Hubbard founder of Scientology.

wins- abilities gained or improvements in self as a result of Scientology procedures or training.

GAT- Golden Age of Tech a rewriting and reworking of the technology of Scientology that was first done in 1996 and then again in 2013.

Celebrity Centre- The Church of Scientology located at 5930 Franklin Ave in Hollywood. It is the home for Celebrities from all walks of life and yes Tom Cruise and John Travolta have both done services there.

COB- Chairman of the Board of RTC (Religious Technology Center the highest organization in Scientology and the holder of al the Trademarks.) David Miscavige

RTC – Religious Technology Center the highest organization in Scientology and the holder of al the Trademarks.

TR’s- Training Routines. There are 10 in total. 0-9. Each one deals with another level of communication. They are a requirement for anyone who wants to become a practitioner in Scientology called and “Auditor”. An Auditor is one who runs the processes of Scientology on another person.

metering- The course that teaches you how to use the Scientology E-Meter or Electro Psycometer. It is a machine that Scientologists believe help them see peoples thoughts and thereby guide the person through their therapy and help them to erase traumatic incidents from the past.

Word Clearer- a person who works in Scientology Course Rooms assisting people to understand all the words they are reading by using dictionaries and grammar books to help them.

Power- In Scientology there are various conditions of Existence. They are on a Scale from Power down to Confusion. Power being the highest and Confusion the lowest. When you are in Power, it is akin to being untouchable. You are such a massively amazing producer that no one can touch you. Nothing bad can happen to you because you produce so much.

ED Int_ Executive Director International. The post that is supposed to be the Executive Director over all Scientology Organizations on the Planet.

Sea Org- Sea Organization. A secret fraternal organization of Scientologists that pledge themselves for the next Billion Years to work for Scientology. They work an average of 75 hours a week, 7 days a week for $35-$50 a week. They live communally at the organizations that they work for and are trusted with the secret Upper levels of Scientology.

RPF- Rehabilitation Project Force this is a program located in Hollwood California at the Big Blue complex of buildings on Sunset Blvd and L. Ron Hubbard Way. This is where Sea Org members are sent who mess up on their post. Or if the engage in extra marital affairs, damage the Organization in any way or have critical thoughts about L Ron Hubbard, or COB. People have been sent there for THINKING about having an affair. Like daydreaming about it. While on the RPF you work more hours at HARD MANUAL LABOR and get paid $11.25 a week. You are required to RUN everywhere. There is no walking. You are not allowed to talk to ANYONE outside of the RPF at any time for anything unless they speak to you first.

FPRD- False Purpose RunDown. This is a process in Scientology that tracks down all of the bad things that you have done in your life, earlier and earlier until you get to the bottom of the list and find the “Evil” purpose that caused you to do all of those things. EG you stole a candy bar at work from the lounge last week. You look earlier and you did that when you were 25, earlier still you did that when you were 10 and the earliest time you did that was when you were 7. Then you would be asked, “What evil purpose did you have just before that?” And you would answer with something like, “To steal all the candy.” And viola you won’t ever steal candy bars again.

routing out- This is the team Scientology uses for leaving their employment. You have to go through a checklist of steps in order to leave them.

Sec Check- Short for Security Check. This is a process that involves getting you to confess crimes. Extremely personal and probing questions are asked over and over until you are “clean”.

fitness board- This is a process in the Sea Org that consists of a committee of people who look over evidence given by yourself and  others and determine your “fitness” to be in the Sea Org or not. It is also the committee that you have to testify before in order to “route out” of the Sea Org.

RPF I/C- Rehabilitation Project Force In Charge. This person is running the hundreds of people who are in the enslavement camp known as the RPF.

disconnect- In Scientology when you are critical of or leave the church your friends and family are required to sever all ties with you in order to continue their membership and enlightenment. This can be friends, family, co workers even minor children who are left out in the cold in order to stay in Scientology.

RPFer- Someone who is on the Rehabilitation Project Force. (See above.)

PAC- Pacific Area Command. This is the group of buildings that are located on Sunset Blvd in Hollywood.

SP- Suppressive Person. According to Scientology someone hellbent on ONLY destruction of everything and everyone. Hilter is the example they use. But they give the same title to ANYONE who speaks out against Scientology in any capacity.

Suicide Drill- This is a procedure that happens at any Scientology Organization when someone attempts suicide. There is a checklist to ensure that there is ZERO blow back on the church in any way shape or form. Basically the person is disappeared off of the property and NEVER allowed to return. All evidence of them is trashed and they are disconnected from by everyone as soon as possible.

OSA- Office of Special Affairs. Essentially the spy wing of Scientology. They are in charge of discrediting any and all dissenters and bringing all legal suits against them.

Standard Tech- This is the delivery of the Scientology in the EXACT way as described by L Ron Hubbard in his writings and lectures.

Flag Orders- These are issues written by LRH while he was on the “Flag Ship” Apollo when he first formed the Sea Org. These are the issues that govern the Sea Org and lay out it’s laws and punishments.

HCOB’s- Hubbard Communication Office Bulletin’s- These are issued on Cream paper with red ink. They contain the technical processes of Scientology and Dianetics. Written by LRH.

HCO PL’s- Hubbard Communication Office Policy Letters- These are issued on Cream paper with Green Ink. They lay out the Administrative directives of Scientology. Written by LRH.













Join the discussion 46 Comments

  • Elli Fordyce says:

    I’m so glad you’ve not only had the courage to publish this and tweet about it, but that you have written it down for the benefits of what that can do for you. If you want to talk or need anything. my number is 914-218-8543 and my email is Or we can skype (ellifordyce, I think). My story is much more benign and I can’t compare it to yours, but I get it. I lived, ate, breathed scn for 14 years and I took every little error and lapse personally because of my faith in it and the experiences it had provided me. When I learned LRH had lied to us all about his boyhood and early adulthood, it was my turning point. Those things had gotten me in, along with a great first session from a new Cl. 0 in ’66. From there it was soon a no brainer to leave, but not until getting full case cleanup at Flag with Mayo Sr. C/Sing my case. I knew I’d gotten the goods and nothing less was acceptable, as public. As far as SO went, in ’69 I just didn’t sign up because after an invite from Yvonne at CCLA, I started seeing that they were taking anyone who would go and it was the opposite of a privilege to be asked. I decided to pay my own way and work on my singing little by little. Everyone’s individual story is theirs and I well remember the many heartbreaks I went through if for very different reasons with very different aspects. Still betrayal, massive betrayal. Totally unacceptable. I’m so glad you got out despite everything it took. And I’m sure you’re the stronger and better for it. In a godzillian years, it won’t seem as important and I hope you’re feeling well and doing well now, with more to come.



    • Nora says:

      Thank you Elli. This happened 13 years ago now. I have healed. But today the thought of people openly defending LRH and the tech, I just couldn’t. I put it all out there.

  • Carmen Llywelyn says:

    I’m floored. I don’t have the words. I think what’s impressing me the most about you, is how in the hell did you live through this? Let alone have a shred of normalcy to become as strong and articulate as you are? Then I remember what I read on Tony Ortega’s site this afternoon, what I remember about Quinton Hubbard & the countless other people who’ve committed suicide or died “mysteriously” as public scientologist’s are always told. In all this, I realize your strength is nothing short of extraordinary, Nora. I wish I was so smart I could tell you why you didn’t go down that road, or why certain people do. But I don’t know. What l do know, is you’re here for a reason. It’s an important reason. You’re a tremendous inspiration to me and so many others who can’t find those raw words of their own, hopefully at least not yet. What you’ve gained cannot be gained by a person in some cocoon or state of suspension where they cant look beyond their nose. That’s fear, and you are anything but.

    • Nora says:

      Sometimes I don’t know how I did it. Mostly I think deep down inside of me, at my core, I am Mitch Henessey, Samuel L Jackson’s character from “The Long Kiss Goodnight”. And as he famously says after being riddled with bullets, “YOU CAN’T KILL ME MOTHERFUCKERS!”

  • Elli Fordyce says:

    In 1967 when the ethics formulas started being revised, published, talked about and used at MMO, we had a little casper milktoast kinda guy who’d been in quite a while but was not very confident on any dynamic. He’d been doing part-time finance duty and was given a condition of Liability, not sure why but I think some errors in the books. He reinterpreted that in his head as Treason and went spiralling down, took a bottle of aspirin (with a weak heart and not very healthy) and then came and confessed to the 2 women running the tiny org (6 staff, mainly part-time). They assigned my ex to take him to the john to eat mustard and throw up while running a process like “you put that body in that chair,” or something like that. That went on for hours, Finally the guy died and the 2 execs gave us all our stories, called the police and covered it up. Never forgot that.

  • Sindy says:

    Powerful. I am without words.

  • Karen#1 says:

    Thank you for sharing. I twittered and cross posted it. Kudos to you. I hope it gets widely shared in the Gay community. Two thumbs up.

    • Nora says:

      Me too. I hope that as many people as possible can read my story and know one of the far too many stories that are out there of escaping Scientology.

  • Wow! Just when you think you’ve heard it all….. Nora, thank you for responding to that commenter and sharing your experiences with the world. May they help others in understanding why Scientology is a dangerous cult. Best wishes to you!

  • John Duignan says:

    Thank you. This is beyond shocking. It is a testament to you decency, strength and courage that you could experience such horror at the hands of this monstrous cult and yet speak with love and generosity to those willfully blind enablers.

    Your story needs to be heard.

  • Mreppen says:

    Wow. I think my nephew Brian Juss did the same or similar thing, I always wondered how he got out of the PAC RPF so fast in 2005. I had previously routed out of the PAC RPF in 1998 with 6 months of the TRD. The RPF I/C guy was a total dick, who I still dream about.

  • John McGhee says:

    Amazing and shocking story, well done for pulling yourself out of that hell. How can people keep covering up for hubbard after reading this or after seeing ‘going clear’. One is either for or against scientology , there is no middle ground. It is a despicable organisation. Hubbard was a total fraud and a disgusting creature.

    • Dee Findlay-DeElizabethan says:

      I agree John, in or out. Former members have a lot to heal and the most important is to recognize Hubbard was a sick man (like mental) and all who keep believing his tech will remain as he was.

  • Laura Flynn says:

    Nora, stories like yours are why the internet started fighting Scientology in January of 2008.

    Stories like yours are what keeps Project Chanology going.

    Contemplation of committing suicide must be the loneliest and most desperate time a person ever experiences. I am so very sorry that you went through that and the consequent disgusting treatment after your attempt.

    I adore Hana Whitfield. I use her videos all the time in response to indie Sci’s who praise Hubbard and maintain that all the abuse started with Miscavige. Truth be told…did David Miscavige have a snow balls chance in hell of being anything other that what he is today after Hubbard took him under his wing? Hubbard molded David Miscavige in his own image.

    It is refreshing to see an ex like you that doesn’t buy into the indie Sci hype.

    I’m so glad that you survived and actually seem like an awesome badass!

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  • […] How I left the #Scientology RPF and why #GoingClear is the most important film of 2015. […]

  • Doug Parent says:

    THIS is what Scientologists need to know and come to terms with. Thank you for writing this and I hope it helps people become more enlightened about how cruel and inhumane the Scientology Sea Organization can be.

  • Dee Findlay-DeElizabethan says:

    Nora, my heart goes out to you for telling your story and for what you went through. Good to hear you are healed.
    I remember in the 70’s when I was still rather new and in ethics, the officer got me to such a state I tried to run out and said “I may as well kill myself”, tho it was a last resort thing to say, to end the insanity he spit. However, like most, I was indoctrinated enough to let them ‘handle’ me and continued on.
    Thank you so very much for exposing this truth. It is great to be free and finally find out the truth about this organization and the founder. 🙂 The HBO doc will help spread the education.

  • Hubert says:

    Thank you for speaking out. Every voice heard from matters.

  • Spike says:

    Oh, Jane!

    First off, a BIG hug – sweet Divinity, what you have survived! I am honored to know you!

    You are INCREDIBLY brave and wonderful for sharing this; it touched me – and many others – very deeply. I hope that your words will change a few minds about these horrible evils.

    Know that we stand with you! You *are* a Goddess of Strength!

  • shannon spears says:

    What a horrible story. I admire the bravery it takes to tell it.

  • Jamie DeWolf says:

    Thank you for this story and for you bravery in telling it. I have told people for years that L. Ron Hubbard is the poison in the well. Folks now can blame Miscavige all they want (and deservedly so), but ultimately he’s only executing the same brutal game plan that L. Ron put into word and action.

    • Nora says:

      Thank you Jamie. Part of truly leaving Scientology is doing the research into Hubbard and really looking at who he was and what he did and why. It is the hardest pill to swallow for most. They believed all the hype. All the stories all the glory. I remember the first time I googled Scientology. In the dead of night while I was 5 months pregnant with my oldest son. I was sure when I pressed enter that Celebrity Centre Security was going to crash through my windows like a SWAT team out of a movie. And then nothing. I started reading. And looking at the truth about Scientology and LRH. The saddest part for me was seeing that really in all the years that I had toiled, thinking I was changing the world that nothing had gotten better as a result of my work. Nothing. In fact if I had been doing ANYTHING else I actually could have made an actual impact on something. Hubbard got the crazy train in motion going at full speed. Miscavige is just the engineer now. But he has taken it into hyperdrive.

    • Alex de Valera says:

      ‘Tis true ’tis pity and piti ’tis ’tis true

  • Sara Goldberg says:

    Damn! I don’t know what to say after that! Nora, I’m so happy you are still here and telling your story girl. I wish I could make it all better and take away all the pain. The church is pure evil and darkness. We have to keep shining the light on it. Thank you for being there.

    • Nora says:

      Thank you Sara. It has been nearly 13 years now. Still healing. But getting my story out there to help save more lives drives me now. It helps to know that my story can help now instead of just live in my nightmares.

    • Alex de Valera says:

      I finally got to see “Going Clear”. It is not available in France yet but I got a link and went through it. I had to stop many times and explain things to my French wife since her English is not good enough to understand people who speak fast in an interview. I think going clear is a very remarkable documentary. When I was working on OSA I was aware of many things public Scientologists and Staff in general ignored. Things like discovering that there was a Lafayette Ron Hubbard jr. and his recanting of the statements he had made about his father … that didn’t make any sense to me. I felt suspicious of what he said when he recanted and It didn’t seem sincere to me. I also had to go through a lot of legal documents, some positive, some negative about Scientology. Since I’ve been out, I’ve done a lot of research and talked to a lot of people who where there in the old days. I think this documentary is outstanding. It couldn’t show all the picture of course, but the choice of the individuals to be interviewed, the general picture of Hubbard before Scientology, his life with Sara, his real war records, the OT levels … It is just brilliant! It gives a very accurate picture of the Cult of Scientology and its history in a short span. I loved Hana’s description of the old days in the Sea project and how Hubbard was at that time. Nora thank you very much for speaking out. The cult is doomed, it will end like its creator because it is his alter ego. I don’t know how long it will take, specially in a country like the US with has nothing to do with individual freedom and puts up with all sorts of abuses on its citizens. Scientology is an Ecclesiastical Mafia. An evil cult, it is the mirror of its founder, one of the sickest men in the history of mankind. Thanks God he never succeeded in his world domination plan. Thank you Nora for telling your story, the tide is turning, the abuses will not go for ever, the well is going dry.

  • Paulien Lombard says:

    Thanks for speaking out, Nora. Your words are so very valuable because they lift the veil Scientology tries to hide behind. You are doing a great thing.

  • Rick Argall says:

    I’m a little late on this email thread. Thank you so very much for your bravery Nora. May your story travel far and wide. Most Scientologists either have a personal horror story or know someone in their family or a friend or a colleague who has a horror story. As mentioned by someone earlier on this thread many are benign and mild compared to yours and compared to those that have actually died. May thousands of people who are still in, read your story. Once again, thank you.

    • Nora says:

      Thank you Rick for reading the story and please feel free to share it. My hope is that telling my story will save as many lives as possible and help be an impetus to get people to leave Scientology.

  • Brett says:

    WOW! Thank you so much for sharing. Although I never experienced the degradation that you were made to endure, I am sure you speak the truth based on personal experience. The biggest problem is letting the flock see behind the curtain…I had wins in Scientology…I also had losses. It’s when the losses toppled the wins that I knew it was time to get out. Thank GOD you survived. Your story is heard. You now have the power to turn your unfortunate situation into a force for good and help prevent future disasters. Thanks so much for sharing.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist says:

    I’ve been meaning to thank you for writing and sharing your nightmare. I know it’s been 13 years, but I also know it is not easy to put relive it by putting it to words. I’m writing now because of your web series trailer about those Growing Up Scientology. I’ve written my story in pieces here and there at Tony Ortega’s Underground Bunker, including the RPF experience and how it altered my life forever. Like you, I try and speak up to those who may be well intentioned, but are trying to cure the scientology with more scientology. The line is always about how someone didn’t do it right. It’s always somebody else or something else.

    One of the catalysts that sprung me from the mental and physical breakdown state I was in was not being able to help at all with the conditions I learned the children were suffering. It was a few years ago that I learned the Cadet Org had been resurrected – and that was my initial motivation for beginning to look. The angry knocks on my front door began soon after. It is the very fact that “on source tech” is being applied right now to innocent sweet lives that I have put up with the smears, the continuing fair crap, helped when and where I could, and now hope I can help somehow with your timely expose. It’s my hope that we can harness the attention currently moving the press to report since “Going Clear”. I’ve always said only an HBO Series could touch it. “Growing Up Scientology” in my opinion, absolutely should be Chapter I, Season I. I’m even learning how to use Twitter thanks to Bunkeroos’ help, just so I could help promote Tony’s book and now your Web Series. I’ve avoided Twitter since its inception. Thank you again for channeling your spirit and courage in this way.

    • Nora says:

      Thank you for this. And thank you also for your support over at the Bunker. It is always good to have someone out there who knows what I am talking about.

  • Idle Morgue says:

    This is why we suppress Scientology. Thank you for sharing your riveting story. You are a survivor and may your life be blessed with love.
    I am doubling my efforts to suppress Scientology on your behalf Raging Buddha! Big Huge Hug!

  • Harold says:

    Thank you for publishing this.

    One thing readers may benefit from is a glossary of acronyms. I don’t recommend editing what you’ve already published — your use of acronyms lends even more credibility to your experience — but perhaps a separate post defining the acronyms used in your post.

    Regardless, you are strong and courageous — and perhaps saving some of from being led into a world of misery!

  • Mirabee says:

    After reading Jenna miscavige hills book couple of years ago and Nancy Many’s as well I was astounded at the hbo documentary – I’m so interested in how intelligent people can get drawn into Scientology. I do understand that all people want to feel like they belong to something important that they can believe in and be passionate about – to fill voids in your life. It’s very sad that what could have been a good way of life for people in Scientology teachings as I’m a believer in self improvement and out of the of thinking was so destroyed with the practice of ruining people’s spirits destroying them so badly …. I cannot understand why. It is my sincere hope that the church and miscavige is exposed and dismantled. And that the prison system that is Scientology will end. Love to you Nora…I wish you only the best.

  • Hillljilly says:

    Thank you so much for speaking your truth in this blog and for posting your videos. Your sense of humor is effortless regarding such difficult subject matter. Please send thanks to your friend who encouraged you to make a YouTube channel, too.

  • […] Nora Crest from her excellent blog, Raging Buddha, and particularly the post where she chronicles her escape from Scientology’s dreaded Rehabilitation Project Force. I’d expected a gusty, strong goddess, and I wasn’t disappointed. This courageous woman, born […]

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